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I think Judas's biggest crime was never understanding personal space. pic.twitter.com/TLRulLp3ar
"And why do you think you should be in charge of Jurassic Park?" "I have no fucking clue how to contain dinosaurs" "YOU'RE HIRED"
29 retweets 44 favorietenIt's called 420 because it's the amount of times per day people that smoke weed smugly tell other people they smoke weed.
31 retweets 49 favorieten"So what is your strongest quality?" "Well I must say I have lots of self.... *looks at smudged writing on sweaty hand* ...Confiblance"
36 retweets 43 favorietenDue to an unfortunate autocorrect I have just registered to vole.
15 retweets 32 favorietenThought it was about time I revealed my manifesto pic.twitter.com/OXO8YZrHgM
F1 is basically millionaires going in circles whilst a 90 year old gremlin rubs himself in money.
56 retweets 74 favorietenThere is SO MUCH MONEY in F1 and NOBODY has guns on their car. This sport is ridiculous.
26 retweets 30 favorietenI am doing something slightly less damaging than listening to Kat*e h*pkins on the radio by putting my genitalia in a blender.
21 retweets 57 favorieten"Dr, the man in bed 3 is covered in grease" "Symptoms?" "He's got chills" "Yes" "They're multiplying"
62 retweets 88 favorieten
Official Renault UK Twitter account. For Customer Relations enquiries call: 0344 335 0000.
Batman Vs Superman script leaked pic.twitter.com/qG7LGnaWSw
"Son, we need to talk about your new girlfriend. It's not that we don't like her, it's...the wind machine." pic.twitter.com/h6uDKTUTK1
Fuck this account and fuck everything about this pic.twitter.com/1WEs55H829
A colour guide for mood rings pic.twitter.com/2r95bUOkPp
What IS in a Name
Hillary Rodham
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Cher Bono
Cher Allman
Cher Bono Allman HILLARY….CHER
No one seems concerned that a James Bond villain is in the spin room #BBCDebate pic.twitter.com/kRlDxA0r4W
ENTER CAMERON STAGE LEFT, TOPLESS, OILED, COVERED IN HEAVY MAKE-UP #BBCDebate
The women: "Let's discuss this rationally"
The men: "NEVER AHHHSJJDKDJHSHWHQOLQPAKHDHHSIWOOWHWIOQPQLQNAKAK"
#BBCDebate
"When you lose a debate you start abusing people"
Flashback to 10 mins ago when you told the room to Fuck off #BBCDebate
We do live in a dangerous world, there's a mad racist in charge of a political party in a general election #BBCDebate
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