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I think Judas's biggest crime was never understanding personal space. pic.twitter.com/TLRulLp3ar
"Yes the 7 hours of sleep were good, but 5 more minutes will solve all of your problems" - My brain apparently
35 转推 41 收藏"And why do you think you should be in charge of Jurassic Park?" "I have no fucking clue how to contain dinosaurs" "YOU'RE HIRED"
29 转推 44 收藏It's called 420 because it's the amount of times per day people that smoke weed smugly tell other people they smoke weed.
31 转推 49 收藏"So what is your strongest quality?" "Well I must say I have lots of self.... *looks at smudged writing on sweaty hand* ...Confiblance"
36 转推 43 收藏Due to an unfortunate autocorrect I have just registered to vole.
15 转推 32 收藏Thought it was about time I revealed my manifesto pic.twitter.com/OXO8YZrHgM
F1 is basically millionaires going in circles whilst a 90 year old gremlin rubs himself in money.
56 转推 74 收藏There is SO MUCH MONEY in F1 and NOBODY has guns on their car. This sport is ridiculous.
26 转推 30 收藏I am doing something slightly less damaging than listening to Kat*e h*pkins on the radio by putting my genitalia in a blender.
21 转推 57 收藏"Dr, the man in bed 3 is covered in grease" "Symptoms?" "He's got chills" "Yes" "They're multiplying"
62 转推 88 收藏
Official Renault UK Twitter account. For Customer Relations enquiries call: 0344 335 0000.
"Son, we need to talk about your new girlfriend. It's not that we don't like her, it's...the wind machine." pic.twitter.com/h6uDKTUTK1
Fuck this account and fuck everything about this pic.twitter.com/1WEs55H829
What IS in a Name
Hillary Rodham
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Cher Bono
Cher Allman
Cher Bono Allman HILLARY….CHER
No one seems concerned that a James Bond villain is in the spin room #BBCDebate pic.twitter.com/kRlDxA0r4W
The women: "Let's discuss this rationally"
The men: "NEVER AHHHSJJDKDJHSHWHQOLQPAKHDHHSIWOOWHWIOQPQLQNAKAK"
#BBCDebate
"When you lose a debate you start abusing people"
Flashback to 10 mins ago when you told the room to Fuck off #BBCDebate
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